No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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