Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
