Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
