I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
