Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You can't wash away shame.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I can try.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy

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(217): View more from Illinois

I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship

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(727): View more from Florida

You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"

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