The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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