If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
