ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
