You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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