all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
