so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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