week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
