i jhust puked up my retainher.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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