and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
