no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
