Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize