I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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