OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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