people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
