Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
