Grow some girl-balls and come out already
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
