Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
