Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize