i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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