Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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