If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize