Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
