You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
