Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
