Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
