I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
