I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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