fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
