I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
