been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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