If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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