Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
