i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
