Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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