I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
