Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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