matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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