guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
