K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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