Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
