12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
