my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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