He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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