Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize