This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
tell me about the eggs
The air taste purple.
Randomize
