I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i dont even know how to be here
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize