I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
