i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
