I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
