After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
