i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
