i don't like sucking hair
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
