but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
