VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dear god my vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
