This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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