Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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