too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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