The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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