i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
