white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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