What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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